Monday, June 18, 2012

8 days old 6-16-12


                I am so amazed that my little boy is over a week old.  I am so thankful for these 8 days of his life outside the womb.  Today was the first day that I went to go see my little angel alone.  Jacob had some errands to take care of this morning so he was not able to come up until around 2pm.  Since we usually go see Jordan around 11, I figured I would just go see him alone.  When I got to the NICU, he was flipped over and now lying on his tummy.  I understand it is custom to move the babies around every so often.  The doctor also explained that for him, being on his tummy was better because it allowed him to be calmer and regulate his breathing and heart and such.  In other words, Jordan is a little wiggle worm and was wiggling so much the machines couldn’t get accurate readings.  So they moved him to his tummy so he wouldn’t move as much.  LOL Praise God for my wiggly baby!  I am so blessed and honored to be his mommy. The doctor discussed with me that he is doing well post-surgery.  His heart is almost at normal size now.  He was also less sedated and beginning to come out of the effects of the anesthesia; hence the wiggly little boy. 
After any type of anesthesia, it takes your body a little while to come out of it so the diet that you are taking in needs to be soft and easy for your digestive system to handle.  As the Japanese doctors explained it to me, “Your organs are still sleeping.”  Well little Jordan’s intestinal system is still sleeping so they give him time to recover from that before starting the next step.  The next step in his care is his digestive system and nutrition.  Possibly starting on Monday the doctors will increase the amount of breast milk he is given and work on regulating his digestion so that he is regularly peeing, pooping, and maintaining good glucose and nutritional levels.  Infants that are this young can have under developed intestines so doctors will be screening him for any disorders that may need to be fixed.  Jordan went poop for the first time today.  The doctors had been telling us yesterday that they wanted him to poop so I was a very proud mommy and I took a picture.  It is crazy how your life changes after children and how your conversations and goals change.  After Jason was born, we had mentioned to my parents that our conversations had gone from our plans for the evening to talking about Jason’s poop.  I think it is funny that here I am again with Jordan talking about poop. 
Some people were asking if we could describe his size because a 12 ounce baby is a little hard to imagine.  Well, he is very tiny; smaller than most baby dolls.  His diaper that they use is like a panty liner.  His hands are about the size of my pointer finger; and I have small hands.  As for length, he seems pretty long to me for his size.  From head to bottom is about the length of Jacobs hand from fingers to end of palm.  Tomorrow I will see if I can get a few size referencing pictures. 
The doctors were telling us that he will be in the NICU for 4-6 months.  That seems like a long time to me but I know Gods plans are perfect.  After his digestive system, his lungs should be mature enough to work on his respiratory system.  The doctor also said that once the digestive system is complete then we will be able to do more interactive things with him.  That is something to look forward to indeed.  Right now we kind of just stare at him and whisper sweet nothings in his ears….and we stroke his hands and tickle his feet.  He responds to our voices and our touch.  It is an amazing experience that’s for sure.  To have this little precious life that is still holding on against all odds, and we are his parents.  It is just amazing. 
I will be discharged tomorrow.  We found out that the insurance is going to pay for our tolls and gas that we will be spending to come and see Jordan on a regular basis.  This is such a blessing and relief.  God always provides for his people.  I was reading a blog about one person’s experience with her preemie children.  She was talking about the many problems that both of her children have because of the prematurity.  I know that all of those things are definitely a big possibility for our future but maybe I should stay away from those types of articles until we are facing that situation.  I know that God is a great healer and can do amazing things.  He has already shown us this for these past 8 days.  I will never put limits on His awesome power.  I know that He can do awesome things for Jordan and I trust in his path for our lives. 
After lunch, my sweet little Jason boy walked into my room.  He was just jumping up and down saying, “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!!”  He makes me so happy.  This is the longest that I have ever been away from Jason for his entire life.  We played peek-a-boo, laughed hysterically, shared hugs, kisses, and cuddles, and talked about many things.  His zest for life just raises my spirit.  He is so full of life and energy.  I am so blessed to have both of my little boys.  Jason is such a smart little boy and amazes me with his skills.  He is also very polite.  Many people comment on how polite he is because he uses please, thank you, covers his mouth, says excuse me, etc.  Although we do teach him to do those things, he makes it easier for us because we don’t have to remind him very often to keep up with his manners.  Jason isn’t allowed in the NICU to visit his brother.  It is against the rules.  We understand why it is but it still kind of sucks.  It is crazy to think that Jordan will be 4-6 months old before they even get to meet each other.  Jason doesn’t really understand the situation either.  I stayed with Jason in the room while Jacob went to go see Jordan this afternoon.  I told Jason that daddy went to go see Jordan and Jason started pointing to my belly saying, “Jordan right there mommy!”  I am not sure how to explain things to him on his level.  We show him the pictures of baby Jordan.  He likes to look at them.
We were given the option of me staying up in Aomori after I am discharged in order to be close to Jordan.  I would be given a hotel room and an allowance for meals and such.  Although I would love to be close to Jordan on a regular basis, I also have to think about Jason and how this situation affects his well-being.  We decided that we didn’t want to continue to create an unstable home environment for Jason.  Instead, I will be driving up to Aomori 4-5 times per week to visit with Jordan and deliver milk but I will still be home every night to recreate a stable routine with Jason.  No one thinks this is going to be easy, but God didn’t promise easy to anyone.  His plans are not always going to be easy but they are perfect.  I was thinking about all the past separations and trials that we have been through since coming to Japan and now I can see that many of those things were God’s way of preparing us for this situation.  I pray that God will use Jordan as a great testimony and help us to share and witness with that testimony.  Our lives have been changed forever…but for the better.
Lord I ask that you would continue to infuse Jordan with your strength.  I am so thankful for the time that we have spent with him and so thankful that we are able to watch your miracle through our little boy.  We are undeserving of this honor but we are gracious and we hope that we make you proud with how we handle ourselves and our new journey in life.  We praise your name lord.  We are thankful that Jordan’s health is continuing to improve and that his heart is adapting well to the correct blood flow pattern.  We are thankful that he pooped today.  It is those little things that make a big difference for such a small person.  Lord, although his body is so small, it is so detailed and perfect.  Your work is so visible and it is truly amazing how you paint each of us with detail even so young in our development.  Lord we are for continued patience, grace, and acceptance for ourselves.  If we feel as if things our becoming too hard to handle, help us to take a step back and reevaluate our focus.  To make sure that our focus is on Your name rather than our own selfish desires.  I pray that you would be with little Jason as he is still unsure about the situation.  He doesn’t quite understand what is going on, but he is going with the flow very well.  We are very thankful that you have had our entire family surrounded.  Lord we are blessed beyond measure.  We ask for your continued guidance, strength, and grace.  All these things in your name, Amen.

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