Thursday, June 21, 2012

13 days old 6-21-12


Today was a home day instead of a visit day.  We ran some errands this morning and then had lunch with a friend.  It feels really strange to be out and about on base without my little baby.  It’s hard to explain.  Like sometimes it just feels a little wrong that we should be able to go do normal life type of activities and enjoy other things about life outside of the hospital when Jordan is fighting so hard.  I know that sounds silly but it does feel like that.  It’s also sometimes a little difficult to see all the chubby babies outside of the hospital with their parents.  I know that someday we will be able to hold and cuddle our sweet boy.  It is just patience and God’s timing.  I understand this journey is not about me and my desires anyway.  God has so many plans for Jordan’s life and I know he is already using his story as a testimony to reach many for His kingdom.  I pray that we are good ambassadors to His plans and that He is pleased with us. 
Although we didn’t visit with Jordan, we have awesome friends who speak Japanese and can call the NICU to get an update for us about his condition.  Last night, Jordan was moved to a different incubator with his own “bedroom” inside the NICU.  He has neighbor babies now and is no longer in the corner of the room with all of the machinery.  This move lifts my spirits a little because it feels as if he finally has a place with the other fighting babies.  He is still the youngest baby but it seems as if he is now on the same stage as some of the other babies that doctors are working with.  They were able to weigh him when he was moved and he is now 406grams or 14.32 ounces.  He has put on 2 ounces since birth.  We are praising God for his growth.  His digestive condition is very good and doctors will continue to increase his milk supply slowly so that he can gain more weight. 
His respiratory condition is still not stable.  The balance between the pressure on his lungs and the level of oxygenation is very important to prevent lung damage.  The doctors are working hard to create a stable balance for him.  They were going to try different respirator setting with his HFV to see which settings work best for him.  We pray that God would have his hand of healing on Jordan’s lungs and allow them to develop and mature quickly.  We also pray that God would give the doctors wisdom to control the pressure and oxygenation balance and to find methods that work best for Jordan.  I am praying that God would prepare Jordan’s lungs and allow Jordan to be a testimony toward even the doctors in this process.  Allow him to be a medical miracle in the doctors’ eyes and allow Jacob and I to share the reasons that he is a medical miracle and allow us to plant those seeds.  I am very thankful that Jordan is under the care of such caring and knowledgeable doctors.
Everything about Jordan is so tiny.  It makes me smile that he has already overcome so much.  I pray that God would provide strength and health and allow him to be completely and fully healed in the future so that he can reach so many with his miraculous story.  All of the equipment that they use for Jordan is like the smallest items ever made.  I was able to watch them take his blood pressure the other day and the blood pressure cuff was so tiny.  I would say it was about as wide and long as my pinky finger.  The doctor was telling me that it was smallest blood pressure cuff ever made.  I think it is amazing that God has allowed us to be placed in this area where they are so equipped to provide for Jordan’s needs.  This was no accident and definitely part of God’s plans all along. 
My devotional today was about surrendering your life to God.  Romans 6:13b says, “Surrender your whole being to him to be used for righteous purposes.”  This is not an easy task for us as humans to do because we want to be in control of our own lives.  We want to decide our paths and tend to only seek God when we have troubles in our lives.  This is not what God has planned for us.  He wants us to continue to use our talents, minds, and abilities but he wants us to use those gifts that he has given us for His purposes and not our own.  Throughout this journey, Jacob and I are learning to surrender our lives to God.  In Jordan’s situation, we really have no control over what is happening; none whatsoever.  We have to rely on God minute by minute as He works in our little boy’s life.  Since we have no control over this situation, we have learned to surrender other parts of our lives to His perfect plans as well.  We serve an amazing God and we are so blessed that He has chosen our little boy for life.
Lord, we are humbled by your grace.  We do not deserve the wonders that you are doing in our lives.  As you have blessed us with this story, testimony, and journey; we pray that we would be good servants to your plans and purpose and that we would reach many souls for your kingdom.  We are learning much on this journey and are thankful for these opportunities to see your blessings and your work.  We ask that you would continue to be with Jordan.  Continue to infuse him with your strength and hold his precious body and life in your healing hands.  We give you all the glory for this great power and are honored to be chosen as Jordan’s parents.  We ask that you would be with the doctors as they work to balance the respiratory conditions.  We pray that you would put your healing hands on his lungs and we trust in your awesome power to progress his lungs in a way that he will be able to breathe on his own as you have created and intended.  We ask that you would be with us as we adjust to a new lifestyle.  This journey is not easy but we are realizing that you did not mean for it to be easy but necessary and that you have been preparing our hearts all along for this purpose.  We thank you every day for your power and that our little boy has continued fighting for so long.  Tomorrow he will be two weeks old.  We are so honored to have this time with him.  Help us to cherish it and honor you with our actions.  I pray for Jacob as his work schedule is being put back into place.  Guide the timing to be perfect for a smooth transition and a smooth return for him.  Be with me as he does go back to work as I have been relying on Jacobs help very often in these past two weeks.  I thank you for your love and grace.  Please be with Jason as he doesn’t really understand what is going on.  Help him to continue to be the free spirited and energized little boy that you have created him to be.  Give me the energy to give him the attention that he deserves.  I pray that you would give us safety as we travel back and forth to the hospital and guide our paths to your glory.  Thank you for your awesome power and love.  We ask all these things in your name, Amen.

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