Today Jordan is 15 days old. It has
been an exhausting day. Jason has been
in a mood all day and parenting him has been difficult. On top of that, there have been emotional
highs and lows with Jordan. God did not
promise that our tasks on earth would be easy and I do not expect them to
be. I only ask that He give me the
strength to handle the tasks with patience, understanding, and a godly
attitude. This is not always easy for us
non perfect people. Following God’s command faithfully and fully was not even
easy for Jesus and He is perfect. Jesus
struggled with God’s task for him to be crucified. John 12:27-28 explains Jesus’
difficulties as He says “Now my soul is
troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it was
for this very reason I came to this hour. Father,
glorify your name!” Our tasks may never be the easy
path to take but they are according to God’s perfect will.
Since today is Saturday, we had originally
planned to bring Jason with us on Saturdays and then take turns visiting with
Jordan while the other played with Jason in the playroom. Today we got to the hospital with Jason and
the playroom was locked. So I guess we
will have to reevaluate our plans for Saturdays from now on. Jason was very hyper in the hallways and that
is not something that is really acceptable in a Japanese hospital. We have been reprimanded for our loudness
several times during my stay. It is just
a different culture. I haven’t really
hung out in many American hospitals though so maybe every hospital likes to
have quiet people….lol.
When I
got to the NICU I had to wait about five minutes before I was able to go see
Jordan because he was in the process of getting an injection of blood or a
blood transfusion. The doctor explained
that his red blood cell count was low.
This is called anemia and is pretty common for premature babies. His count was not extremely low but because
his respiratory condition is still unstable, it is important that his red blood
cell count is at a higher level. Since
he is so premature, his body does not make red blood cells as fast as he needs
them. The doctor said that he will most
likely get another transfusion tomorrow as well. After that, he will hopefully have high
enough red blood cell levels for a while.
Today he was using the HFV for his respiratory treatment and he seemed
to be doing better on this machine than last time. The doctors have him hooked up to both
machines so they can make an easy switch from HFV and conventional ventilation
as he needs the change. I held his
little hand today and he squeezed my finger with his little tiny fingers. I could feel his strength. I am so proud of him and so proud to be his
mommy. I can’t wait until I can hold my
precious little boy. I trust that this
day will come. I trust that God has big
plans for my little boy. I know that our
story has already touched many. Some
people have started praying again for the first time in many years. Others have shared with me that our story has
brought them closer to God and more appreciative of the blessings they
have. If you have been touched by God
through Jordan’s life then I ask that if you are willing, please feel free to
share this with Jacob and me. We really
feel encouraged when we know that God is working and using Jordan’s life and
our own journey for His great purposes.
On our way home from the hospital, Jason was
very cranky. He didn’t take a nap until
after we got home so he didn’t wake up until late. He was definitely trying my patience this evening. He has been talking back and having the
normal two year old attitude that the entire world revolves around him and his
desires. I pray that God would give us
patience and love as we parent.
Sometimes I wonder how my parents manage to have seven children and not
lose their sanity. Parenting is one of
the hardest and most rewarding jobs on earth.
A very dear friend shared with me at my baby shower that instead of
focusing on parenting and doing everything right, I should focus on God. By focusing on God, He will guide our
attitude to be Godly so that we set a perfect example for our children. I hope that I am being a godly example for
Jason.
This morning I was reading about several people’s experience with the HELLP
syndrome. Most of these women delivered
between 26-31 weeks because of the disease.
Only one of the women had a similar experience as mine to where she
recovered well right after delivery.
Some of the ladies had experiences such as heavy internal bleeding,
multiple blood transfusions, and kidneys completely shutting down. One woman was in a coma for three days
following her delivery and another had to go through kidney dialysis for two
weeks because her kidneys had stopped working.
As I was reading these stories, I realized that I never truly gave
thanks to God for my own health. The
HELLP syndrome is a scary disease and could have been so much worse. The doctors were actually preparing blood for
my surgery in case I needed a transfusion.
Praise God that He was watching over me and guided my recovery
process. He has given me much strength
and I know that my tasks on earth are not complete. Lord, here I am. Use me for your purpose and guide me to
glorify you.
Lord, I ask that you would be with your precious creation and my little
baby boy Jordan. I thank you that you
have held him in your arms throughout this journey and have guided his strength
and development. I find it really
amazing that we are able to watch him develop and mature. These processes usually occur inside the
womb, but we are able to watch them in person.
I pray that you would use his life as a great testimony of your love,
grace, and power. I pray that Jacob and
I would be good disciples of this testimony and would be unafraid to share how
you have changed our lives. Please be
with the doctors as they decide what is best for Jordan. Give them wisdom and courage. We ask that you would place your hands upon
these transfusions and allow them to help Jordan without side effect. We also ask that you would guide his
respiratory system and strengthen and mature his lungs. Give us patience as we wait for the perfect
timing to take him off of the ventilator.
Lord I ask that you be with Jason.
Help him to be a normal, active, and wonderful toddler; but help him to
pick up on the godly examples around him.
Allow him to be understanding and patient with us as we need to be
patient and understanding with him. Lord
I just thank you so much for both of my beautiful boys. Both of them are big lights in my life. Lord I ask that you would prepare Jacob and I
for his return to work. We know this
will be a trying transition for us both and I ask that you would allow us to
focus on you as we transition to our new responsibilities. Please bless our sleep and help us to rest as
we are able. Give us strength to
overcome our trials. Lord we ask all
these things in your name, Amen.
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