Sunday, July 8, 2012

Jordan is one month old!!! 7-8-12


Jordan is one month old today! I am so thankful that Jordan has been in our lives for the past thirty days.  I cherish every moment that I have had with my sweet little boy and I know that this time is something that I will remember forever.  Jordan is not having a good day today.  When we called for his update we found out that his breathing is pretty unstable today.  It had been doing so well for the past week so we were a little bummed with this news.  We also found out that he has an infection.  The nurse said it was inflammation but I am not sure if there is a specific location of the infection or what.  We should find out more when we visit him tomorrow.  The infection showed up in his blood work.  They are treating him with antibiotics that started today.  This is kind of a big deal because micro preemies do not have the immune systems that they need to fight off infections.  I pray that God would eliminate this infection immediately and shock doctors with the lab work in the morning….shock them in a good way I mean.  If you are reading this, please join us in praying that the infection will be eliminated quickly and that Jordan’s condition will become stable again. 
I realize that there are going to be many hurdles along the way but Jordan had been doing so well for the last few days.  I was really bummed to hear about the infection.  I also read a story about a baby boy that was born at 26 weeks gestation and he fought lots of infections during his time but after 45 days of life he couldn’t fight anymore and his mommy and daddy had to say goodbye.  This is one of my greatest fears.  I know that Jordan is still in critical condition and that things change daily but I cannot imagine our lives without him.  I don’t want to say goodbye.  I want him to be a healthy, chunky, happy boy who can have many opportunities and can bring joy to so many people.  I have high hopes for him and high hopes for his life.  I do trust that God knows what is best and I honestly believe that God’s purposes for Jordan’s life go beyond the NICU.  I have learned to lean on God minute by minute and give him my worries.  When I start to feel overwhelmed, I pray scripture and sing worship songs.  God really has been giving me his strength and taking my burdens.  The truth is, I have no control over what happens in Jordan’s life.  All I can do is trust the doctors and trust that God is holding him and caring for him.  The only thing that I can do that will help Jordan is love him unconditionally and support him mentally and physically.  I can spread his story to touch lives, and I can share his updates to create a prayer effect around the world.  It really does blow my mind how many people around the world are praying for our sweet baby boy! God is really doing awesome things.  God has the power to eliminate this infection overnight and I pray that He would do so.
We sang a song in church today that I really like.  It is called “Nothing is Impossible”.  I have been singing this song in my head all day and praying the lyrics.  Nothing is impossible for God.  He is all powerful.  We cannot live by our feelings and the emotions that we get.  Instead we need to live by faith and trust in God’s power, grace, and love.  When we are followers of Jesus, there is not always going to be feelings of God’s presence.  This is a decision, not a feeling.  We do things based on faith rather than sight.  Prayer really does work; God really does miracles; and God really does have our lives planned out.  We were talking in church today about killing our own will to follow the will of God.  Many people are trying to find the life that they imagined they would have instead of leaning into God and following the life that He has planned for us.  Jacob and I were discussing this and God has shown us how to cut out our own will through this experience.  We have no idea what the plans are for our lives.  We do not really have our futures planned out at all.  We are living day to day and meeting challenges as they come.  We are allowing God to lead us each and every day.  This is not an easy thing to do because it is human nature to want control over our own lives.  We often talk about different scenarios of situations depending on where we move next and all the things we will have to set up once we move.  But then we have to remind ourselves that God already has this planned and that He will lead.  We just have to have faith and trust that His voice will be heard over any others.
It was hard not visiting with baby boy today.  After we heard of his condition I really wanted to drive up and see him but I knew this would not be a practical thing.  I know that he is in the best hands possible right now! God is holding him for me even when I want to hold him so badly.  An infection for a micro preemie is a serious issue, but it is also very common.  Micro preemies fight infections every day and many of them succeed and overcome them.  I pray that in the future, when Jordan is healthy and home, I can be a good support system to other moms that are living the NICU lifestyle and going through the same things.  I am thankful for the people who have “been there, done that” and are now giving us their support and encouragement.  God is good all the time. 
Lord, I pray right now with much passion and much emotion.  I am so thankful for this little boy that you have placed in our lives.  You knit him together in my womb and planned his birth, the circumstances, his conditions, and his purposes long before he was conceived.  You prepared our hearts to handle things and prepared our lives to be in the perfect location for the perfect timing of his birth.  You have healed my own body and have already done many miracles in the life of my baby boy.  I trust that you will also heal this infection from his little body and stabilize his breathing.  I know that you are all powerful and I believe that you can rid this infection from his body instantly.  This may not be in your plans for him right now but I pray that you would place your healing hands on him.  Give him the strength to fight the infection and allow him to be a medical miracle in the eyes of these doctors.  They take care of micro preemies every day.  They see your miracles often.  Help Jordan to touch their lives.  Help us to plant seeds into their hearts so that they may come to know you.  Lord hold Jordan in your hands and heal him completely.  Allow him to improve and excel.  Help him to gain weight and meet the goals to take him off of the ventilator.  Give us the strength to live this life and fight these fights by his side.  Help us to lean on you for the highs and lows and to give up our own will and trust in your will.  Lord, I pray that you would allow Jordan’s life to be long and healthy so that he might bring joy to many people.  I pray that you would have many purposes for his life outside of the hospital.  I pray so hard that he would be able to overcome all the effects of his severe prematurity and live a long and healthy life.  Be with him now lord and be with us.  Make significant changes in his health tonight and heal his body.  I praise you that this is the first infection he has had to battle.  Please give this little boy your strength.  Lord, thank you for the time that we have been given with him and give us many more days, months, and years.  Use our lives as a testimony for many people of your awesome power.  Send us where we can be the greatest testimony for you and help us to be unafraid to share you with others.  I ask all these things in your name, Amen.

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