Tomorrow Jordan will be one month old.
On one side, I feel like time has gone so fast and that I cannot believe
that it has already been an entire month since our world was changed
forever. On the other side, I feel like
this journey has also felt like a lifetime.
It has been emotionally and physically challenging but God has been
faithful. He says He will never leave us
nor forsake us. I have seen the truth
and value of these words with my own eyes this past month. God has been by our side in the hardest
moments as well as the most joyous; and everything in between. We have learned to lean on Him for strength
and endurance; and to jump for joy and thanksgiving and praises during times of
success and accomplishment. Our
priorities have shifted from self to service.
God has changed our lives with Jordan.
We are so blessed and honored to be this little boy’s parents. His story is one that truly shows the world
that there IS a God and He is STILL performing miracles on this Earth. He is all loving and so very good. He has our lives planned out from the very
beginning. Although often times, we do
experience loss in this world. This is
not because God does not love, but because that person has fulfilled his or her
duties on the earth. When I was told I
would be delivering at 23 weeks gestation, I was trying to prepare myself that
I would need to continue on in life without my little boy. God has different plans for our life though
and those plans include Jordan. Jordan
has a big purpose to fulfill and it is our job as his parents to be his voice
and his guidance. We are to prepare him
for this purpose by raising him up to know God’s love.
I also feel that God has a huge purpose for me throughout this journey as
well. Before Jordan’s birth, I was
struggling with the feeling that my life was not really going anywhere. I felt like I was doing many things for
myself, but that I was not being used by God for any purpose. Today my view point is changed. I know that God has been preparing my life
for this moment. I really and honestly
feel led to share our story with as many people as possible. My hope is to plant seeds in the hearts of
unbelievers. To be a witness of God’s
love and grace. When you are staring
death in the face, of yourself and your child, God really makes it clear on
what his goals are for you. My job here
is not finished, and neither is Jordan’s.
I pray that God would speak through my words and touch the hearts of
those who read this story.
Today was a good day. We slept in a
little this morning and then we visited Jordan.
Saturday’s are when Jason gets to come to the hospital with us. He doesn’t get to go into the NICU because of
strict rules but he does get to come up with us and spend the day with mommy
and daddy. Jordan was doing well
today. The doctor that speaks English was
not there today so we did not get a medical update but I was still able to
spend some quality time with my sweet boy.
He is so precious. Today he was
pretty relaxed and calm. He was sleeping
with his hand on his face. We had a
bonding moment today. I put my hand on
his body and he grabbed my finger with his little hand. He brought it up close to his face and just
rested while holing on tight to my finger and holding me next to his body. My heart was happy as I just wanted to scoop
him up in my arms and rock him to sleep.
If you are a parent, then you will understand the unconditional love
that you share with your child. The bond
is unbreakable. With Jordan in the NICU
for so long, I fear that he is not going to be comfortable around me because he
only spends short periods of time with my presence. When I get the chance to love on him, you bet
im going to take it.
The last medical update we were given we were told that the doctors were
trying to wean his mean air pressure on the ventilator. It had been lowered down to 13 but today it
was back up to 14. I am unsure if this
is because the steroid dose is being lowered or if it is just part of the
process. I trust that the doctors know
what they are doing though and Jordan’s oxygen levels were very stable during
my visit. The nurse was talking to me
about how Jordan is so active. She was
saying that he is playing tricks on them by removing some of his sensors and
tape and such. When he takes off the
sensor, the alarms go crazy and everyone comes running. I think he just likes the attention of all
those pretty nurses that are caring for him! ;) The doctor was explaining that although
his active personality can cause more work for them, it is good that he is so
active because it says good things about his brain activity. God is so good. I have read many success stories for babies
that are born at such a young gestational age and many of them have grown up to
outgrow all side effects of their severe prematurity. I pray that this is in God’s plans for Jordan
as well. God is more than capable of
healing Jordan completely. I place all
my trust in his plans. By His blood we
are Healed.
After we visited with Jordan, we stopped at the bakery for lunch. This bakery is so yummy and has all kinds of
interesting treats to try. Also, they
have AMAZING bread. Japanese fresh bread
is something I will miss a lot when we get back to America. I have no idea how they make it so
yummy. Even when I make fresh homemade
bread, it is still not as soft and fluffy as the Japanese bread. Jason enjoyed his lunch. I love the age that Jason is at right
now. He can communicate well enough to
talk about his feelings and his interests and he gets excited about learning
and exploring. He has now figured out
how to unbuckle his car seat. Such a
trouble maker he is! But he has so much
fun when we take him with us to Aomori.
He enjoys that daddy knows all the right bumps to hit to make it a
roller coaster drive. He also likes to
call out all the things he sees. Our
drive is filled with “mommy, CAR!! Look, birdie!! Another tunnel! Look mommy, a tree!!” He is so much fun.
This evening, although there were many things we could have been doing, we
decided to just relax. I even took a
nap! It was very nice to take a step
back and take some down time. My house
could really use the cleaning, but our well-being could use the rest much more!
Lord we thank you for this wonderful day and the blessings of your
creation. We appreciate the rain and the
cooling feel that it puts across the land.
Your creation here is so beautiful.
We thank you for Jordan and his continued health. We know that things could be going a lot worse
but that you have your hands on him and are giving him your strength. Lord we pray for his little lungs. Would you continue to develop them and heal
them of the damages caused by the ventilator.
We ask that you help Jordan to gain weight and grow quickly. We have a goal that he can come off of the
ventilator very soon. I thank you for
the bonding moment that I was given today and that my touch brought calmness to
his body and allowed him to rest. I pray
that you would help him to know my voice and my touch and allow me to bring
comfort to him and strength. I pray for
the other babies in the NICU and that you would put your hands on them and
their families. I rarely see other
parents visiting their children and I pray that you would just touch their
lives and bring them closer to you in this challenge. Use me as a testimony toward them. Give the doctors and nurses wisdom as they
care for Jordan and select his treatment methods. Be with Jason and help him to continue to
grow and learn. Thank you for his spirit
and his fun and loving attitude. Thank
you also that he has been much less challenging to mommy and daddy lately. I pray that this would continue and that you
would allow us to parent him in a way that is godly and perfect. Help us to be examples of godly living. Thank you for allowing us rest today. I pray that you would give us strength and
endurance as this journey is not always easy.
Give us the motivation tomorrow to get many chores done and get caught
up on our responsibilities. Be with me
as I prepare for my first day of classes to start. Help me to not procrastinate and to look
toward you for strength. I know this
will be challenging but I know that you will give me the strength to accomplish
my tasks. Thank you for your blessings
in our lives. Jordan is such a miracle
and I am so honored that I get to be his mommy.
Continue to hold us all in your loving arms. We ask all these things in your name, Amen.
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